maybe this will help someone #worldmentalhealthday #suicide

Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. I struggled with suicidal thoughts most of my life but I was too scared to talk about it for risk of losing my rights being locked away and being force medicated.

Being drugged was something I experienced in childhood abuse and also as an adult being drugged by men who later sexually assaulted me.

When I did speak up about suicidal thoughts some medical professionals just ignored me which only exacerbated the really desperate feelings and contributed to wanting to even more.

But I always refused to take my life and I wouldn’t give myself permission to (as I believed I’d have to come back and do it all over again and there’s no way I will live through what I already lived through again).

When I did finally find safe people to talk with about suicide it suddenly shifted in a big way and the feelings to leave the planet became much less. It quickly became apparent suppressing the thoughts about suicide and keeping it secret was really fueling it.

Also, for me, I had to finally give myself permission that if it came right down to it and I really felt I had to, that I could choose to leave the planet.

Once I did this, I got clear it wasn’t about wanting to die as much as it was really about wanting to escape life circumstances and challenging feelings that felt unbearable.

So I am sharing this openly as it may help someone. Please know you are not alone. Please reach out until you find someone safe to speak to. It’s really important to be witnessed, to be heard and to have safe space held to express these feelings and thoughts in. It’s really important to not have someone judge and/or try to fix you. It’s really important to honour the feelings and to give them space and expression.

Being present with another person’s pain is what’s needed and the reality is the majority of people just really don’t have this capacity. I do and that’s why I do this work now. I offer Compassionate Inquiry sessions one on one.

I really feel our new world we are all creating needs to include safe spaces for people facing suicidal thoughts to be able to share openly and to be supported and educated about options and to really have a structure in place to walk it all through without fear of being locked up, being force medicated, losing one’s rights, etc.

Suicide needs to be decriminalized so people aren’t acting out of desperation alone. It needs to be embraced and people need to be supported rather than them taking dangerous steps that may not result in ending their life after all and may instead cause even greater issues.

Everyone has the right to die with dignity. Death is sacred. I do believe if we did the above there would be a lot less suicides. I am so glad I chose to stick around as life is definitely worth living.

Envision the New World you want to see after this is over

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I wrote this “The ideal world” way back on May 2, 2013 and it’s interesting as we go through this lockdown and I do ceremony and pray regularly that this is pretty much what I have been praying about for our new world.

 

This now feels even stronger than ever as this pandemic has exposed the inequalities that many turned a blind eye to and so no one can stay in denial anymore and there’s this enormous opportunity for us all to envision what we want in the new world when this is all done.

 

The ideal world I see is one where people live in harmony – which each other and all creatures, honouring the earth, honouring each other.

 

A place where people openly care for one another and don’t hesitate to show it… and all are supported in the community regardless.

 

A place where all people have access to the basics of life – safe, clean, good water and healthy safe non-gmo food, safe good raw dairy, safe clean air, good, affordable housing… and access to a good affordable or free education.

 

A world where there is acceptance and tolerance and all people are free to express who they are, however they want to… in myriad forms of creative self expression.

 

A world where there is no such thing as war or abuse – no verbal, mental, emotional, spiritual, ritual or sexual abuse.

 

A world where people don’t value money and appearance as being so important. Where people are real and don’t wear masks and/or play games.

 

Where religion is moot. Where no one even thinks to see the colour of a person’s skin. A world wherein all people are celebrated for who they are; our differences and our diversity embraced and valued for keeping life interesting, our world varied, and recognizing that honouring everyone’s inherent gifts and sharing them with the world, makes us stronger.

 

A world where people grow old holding on to a beginner’s mind – always open to learning and carrying the wisdom that each person on the planet has something unique that only they can teach and share and being open to learning from one another.

 

A world like this to me… would be bringing the concept of heaven on earth, into being. If I lived in this kind of world, I wouldn’t often feel the longing to go home to spirit… to the oneness of creation… to my pure self… as I do now.

 

I’d already be living out my soul purpose, living in my spirit self every day, enjoying and acknowledging the pure spirit self of my fellow human beings too… as we celebrate life and beingness; the gift of living in a body and all that offers us, each and every day together… honouring mother earth and enjoying nature and the precious sacredness that this life is.

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I am happy to say seven years later I do feel I am living my soul purpose now more than ever before in the healing work I do, the circles I host and the Compassionate Inquiry counselling I offer.

 

Also, I don’t long to go Home to Creator as much as I did most of my life but if we go back to the old world that was called normal but was anything but, I definitely don’t see myself in that world so something big will be changing and if that’s me passing then so be it.

mar 22 2020 part 2 #poetry #newwaysofbeing #newlife #empowerment #mindfulness #healing

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Part 2 to my poem I posted below on Mar 22:

staying frozen in F.E.A.R
Future Events Appear Real
what’s the deal
social media’s unreal
what you focus on and feed
becomes a deep demanding need
we’ve got everything we need inside us
it takes trust and belief to provide for us
you’ve got everything you need inside you
take time to be with the truth of you
stop running way, numbing and hiding
now is the time for reality and presiding
over who you are and who you want to be
now is the time to restore us
to create what we want before us
all of what we ever dreamed of
hope and belonging
for our deepest soul longing
honouring of all life
freedom from all strife
blessings from above
radical acceptance
unconditional love life sentence
given to us every day
the beauty and support of nature
in every way
meditate to get to you
embracing the ultimate truth
of who you are
you’re going to go far
in this new world
cant you see
this is how it always was meant to be

Mar 22 2020 #Healing #Empowerment #Reclamation #Decolonize #Truth

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sun on my third eye

as the clouds pass me by

ephemeral colours

blend and merge

clarity surge

wind in the cedars

speaking to me

clearing the struggles

doubled lucidity

of what I BE

so I can see

releasing memories

of times not needed

don’t you know, we’re all star seeded

feeling all of the insanity

not now, but the past you see

the gift of the present situation

we’re all primed for transformation

no more religion of distraction

no more living life a fraction

mother earth, she patiently waited

while we destroyed and frustrated

shallowized and complicated

the heaven on earth that she gave us

colonization, genocide tried to erase us

now is the time to reclaim us

turtle island wants to repatriate us

so the choice it’s up to you

what are you gonna do